


Loving you has always been easy.

by Lithode



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Adora-centric (She-Ra), Canon Compliant, F/F, One Shot, Pining, collection of memories of catradora mutually pining, could be read as a cut scene anywhere after save the cat, from catra, it's gay and bittersweet okay, not beta-read who are we kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29754060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lithode/pseuds/Lithode
Summary: Catra's asleep and Adora isn't. Adora's not alone anymore and yet she still feels stranded. Adora can't ask Catra for something that she needs.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 33





	Loving you has always been easy.

Loving Catra has never been easy, Adora muses.

She can see her curled up form in the darkness, just far enough to be out of reach. 

She can see how her chest raises slowly, her slumped ears against her hair. Adora always loved her hair, it was like her, chaotic and unpredictable, and always so beautiful, so soft when it tickled her face in the dark. She used to think Catra was some kind of piece of nostalgia, the most vivid remanence of a time when she didn't have to try so hard to be happy. She used to think that how she felt was just that, nostalgia, for their childhood as much as it was for Catra herself.  
She used to think a lot of things. 

It's easy really, she's always been good at rationalizing, analysing, preparing. And Catra made it so **easy** , always pushing first, always leading them to the same well planned territory of direct rivalry. 

And yet it was always there, hidden just underneath the surface, a throbbing ache, a dull pain running through her body when time stilled, dust settled and the only thing she could feel were the two mismatched eyes gazing at her. That was usually the time for a witty remark, or a snide comment, anything, _anything_ to stop the thrum that enveloped her body, the warmth than ran through her the longer she held Catra's gaze. 

In a way she always knew it was there, but Catra always spared them the need to address it, fighting or fleeing just fast enough for her not to follow. 

And since Adora is so great at being great, she never mentioned it, never could really. What could she say? How could she put into words what she felt?  
It was always a need, that much she knew, but a need for what? It was confusing and ever changing, shifting with her every day but still ever present. 

Adora knows the need to win, the need to be the best, to be on top. So she did just that, fighting and training, getting and keeping the upper hand. But it barely changed anything. When the battle was won, the game over, she still felt as empty as before, as dull. And when the night came, in her empty room, she couldn't even pretend anymore. 

You don't realize what you have until it's gone, is a pretty straightforward concept. Adora never would have thought it could apply to this slow breathing she could barely make out at the end of the bed. That is, until she was in a quiet room, too big and too silent, on a bed too soft and so empty. 

Hearing Catra sleeping next to her now felt surreal. It felt like coming home after eons travelling alone, and it was.  
And that was almost enough, it would be enough, had Adora not finally understood what had been gnawing at her all this time. It was all too ironic really, like she was destined to always want something more from Catra, more of her. But Adora would never ask, Adora didn't ask, Adora kept her needs so close she didn't know what they were. Except this one was burning. 

It's a strange thing to hold onto a brasier, knowing that letting go will be so much worse than just holding on. It's not that Adora like letting herself burn, but really she had been doing it for so long, it was almost surprising to find it still going after all this time. 

It was fine, manageable even, when it only sparked up in battle, in fleeting instants of proximity, when Catra would be just too close, just too real under her, because then she was gone, in a flash of claws and teeth, and Adora was left standing upon glowing embers. 

Now though, now it never stopped, never dimmed, it consumed her everyday, when Catra leaned against her for support, when she grabbed her hands, her sharp claws unusually dull when she held on tighter. It was there when she caught her eyes across a room, and smirked, when she let her tail linger around her arm or waist. Even when she slept like this, curled up, slightly angled towards her and Adora could barely form coherent thought that didn't have to do with holding her as tight as she could, as close as possible because maybe, then, this would be enough. 

Loving Catra has always been too easy, it's not showing it that is hard.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi thanks a lot for reading, i don't know what this was i had words in my head and they wanted to go somewhere.  
> Please comment or kudos if you enjoyed.  
> I haven't written, even less posted something, in a while and desperately need the validation. Also i am rewatching She-Ra, obviously, thus the catradora feels. I might do a catra centric one actually but i'm tagging this as a one shot because my determination is as volatile as my hair colour.  
> Have a good day!


End file.
